Deadly Sin
'We envy each other. If an author gets a movie deal, a huge advance, a big tour, a magazine spread, we're incredibly jealous because we feel we deserved it, not them. Then we hide our feelings behind well wishes, and say snide things behind their backs.' By J.A. Konrath
This is so true and I think that we've all been there. I have seen so many writers get their dream agent, a two or three book deal and I think when is it my turn. Sure I've been close several times but I'm still looking. On forums you see many post of 'I just signed with an agent' and your heart sinks because you know that you deserve one too. You write your butt off, spend hours sending out queries and still notta.
Sure you think my time is coming but when? It is sort of like a grieving process.
1. Get all fired up. Tell yourself 'I'm going to crank out a book and find an agent.
2. Writers Block rears its ugly head.
3. Writers around you get agent and publishing deal.
4. You curse under your breath.
5. (Is a two step process) You get pissed and bitch. Then you pity yourself and get depressed.
6. Then self doubt swallows you up.
7. You come out of it and the process starts all over again.
It's a never ending cycle. I think even after you land your agent, sure you can omit #3 & #4 but it's just part of being a writer. Maybe it takes longer to fall into that cycle but from time to time it happens. Just keep your chin up my dears and have a great support group. Strive to break the cycle.
posted by LA Burton @ 11:55 AM
9 Comments
9 Comments:
> It's a never ending cycle.
It may feel this way, but it doesn't have to be the case. There are some things you can do to help improve your chances.
- Present yourself professionally at all times. This means:
-- Double (and triple) checking your spelling on your posts, whether on your blog or at your various writer sites...and certainly in your query letter and manuscript.
-- Feel free to complain, rant and bitch about people with whom you interact (heck, personalization makes blogs a lot of fun), but if you do, prepare for consequences. Remember, everyone knows everyone. The person you badmouth today may be a hot agent or a bestselling author tomorrow.
-- If you make a mistake along the way, own up and move on. Shit happens to everyone. Professionals acknowledge it, learn from it, and then use what they learned to their advantage. (Sent a query letter to one agent, for example, when it was addressed to another? Oops. Apologize for the screw up and resend it properly. And next time, double check all names.) Experience can't be taught...and it's the most important thing we can gain along the way.
-- Celebrate everyone's successes with them. Here I disagree with Joe -- specifically about thinking mean thoughts about someone while congratulating them. It's OK to be jealous or envious; heck, we're only human. But these people worked damn hard to earn their success; they deserve their moment to shine. (Me, I deal with my own jealousies by eating way too much chocolate.)
- Keep on writing. Maybe Book 1 isn't your breakout novel. Maybe Books No. 2 through 9 aren't either. But that Book No. 10 may be The One. You'll never know if you don't keep on writing. (One author at a writing group recently sold a literary fiction for a HUGE amount of money, complete with movie rights. But this was, I believe, either his seventh or eighth book.)
- Keep on reading. See what works for published authors...and what about their books you would do differently. This difference, I think, is key; you don't want to simply mimic what's already out there. You need to find your voice, and tell your story.
And, of course...there's always chocolate. :)
I agree with presenting yourself as a profesional. I try to always put out a readable product but as you say we all make mistakes from time to time. If I'm going to gripe about someone there will never be names mentioned. Because like you said everyone knows everyone.
Unless it's positive there isn't any use of mentioning names. But, sometimes I guess names don't have to be for that person to know it's about them.
Sometime even admitting a mistake and saying I'm sorry doesn't make it better or forgotten. But, we all can learn from those experiences.
I do agree to a point with Joe about the envy.
I will always keep writing something will catch an agent's eye sooner or later. Right! I enjoy reading so I will continue that as well. There's a new book 'HELL'S BELLS' that I'm looking forward to reading. I hear that it's from a very promising new author. ; )
((grin)) Well, if you're open to plugs:
HELL'S BELLES, coming to a bookstore near you, January 2007.
All best,
Jackie
Hmm. I see things differently, I guess. Sure, I want to succeed, sure we all have a little envy when someone else achieves something we want so badly, but I always mean it when I congratulate another writer for their success. I'm honestly happy for them.
They deserve to be congratulated, SHOULD be congratulated by their peers, because we, as writers, know more than anyone else how damn hard it is to get there. Good for them! Way to go!
And if there is ever an occasion when I don't mean it, I simply don't say it.
Anonymous, I think you can agree that all of us at one point or another has envied someone. And, sometimes that little voice inside says 'that should be me'. If you don't then you're a rare person indeed.
Topic of congratulating someone and not meaning it...(thinking). Well all I can say about that is you're a good person.
Jackie and Anonymous are correct in wanting to sincerely congratulate others for their well-earned success. Sending positive energy into the world comes back to us. (Woe be the one who puts too much energy into pissing and moaning.)
Yes! Yes! Yes! Check spelling. Recheck spelling. No agent will take a writer seriously when there are multiple errors.
Everyone is able to improve their writing. Join a writers group, take a writing class, and challenge yourself to master the English language.
Check spelling again.
Anonymous 2
I'm not sure if you are trying to say my spell suck or what. Yes, we all make spelling errors I never claimed to be perfect. And, I do belong to a writing group. I have for over a year.
So I guess that if we send out all sunshine and happiness that's what we get back. Good theory! Well I enjoy the company but why all the anonymous visitors?
I think every writer has experienced an "I wish that were me" moment on hearing of the success of another writer - we wouldn't be human otherwise. But I think it's important to realize that's not the same thing as envy. To me, envy goes further. It has the connotation of not only wanting what the other person has for ourself, but also of NOT wanting the other person to have it.
Thankfully, I've never wanted to be published at the expense of someone else (though logic says there are a finite number of books published every year and thus not all books written can be); for me, if there's an unhappy twinge, it's more along the lines of "I wish I were published too."
In his Advice to Writers article on the Backspace homepages (http://www.bksp.org/secondarypages/articles/authors/DRobbins1.htm), NYTimes best-selling author David L. Robbins says:
Seventh, there is plenty to go around. In workshops or writers' groups, do not be jealous or harsh. One person's talent or good luck does nothing to diminish yours. Rejoice for your fellows who get a break or who write a wonderful piece. Give your best and gentle efforts to help a fellow writer learn, improve, and keep writing. If someone does well, or even gets published, they prove something important: that it can be done. This is the beauty of art: it is not a zero sum game. Be worthy of the work, and of your desire to write it. You can always be next.
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I love this, and couldn't agree more. I know many successful writers, so I KNOW it isn't a 'you OR me' situation, or as Robbins' puts it, "a zero-sum game." There's plenty of room at the publishing table. When I congratulate someone, I mean it sincerely
Hey Karen- I'm glad you come to visit. I would never walk over someone to get published. But on those bad days when your depressed, you just want all your hard work to be noticed.
I think it would be great if we all supported each other sincerely but I don't think that happenes enough.
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